Adventures in Cooking
The Great Cookie Experiment
Lauren and Mathilda
As our Frankenstein desert rest warmly in its incubator, we held our excitement down with equally exciting pizza:
...until the cookies had enough strength to rise on their own... to attack!
During the attack, I held them down as Mathilda ran into her zombie free room to grab the tranquilizers. I fought them off to the best of my ability, escaping with three broken ribs and a bloody nose, but eventually we tamed them. Our camera crew, however, was eaten (by the cookies). The rest of the pictures had to be taken ourselves, but we managed, and though we barely survived, our stupidity had delivered us from the hands of a regrettable fate.
In the end, it doesn't even matter, because Gandalf accompanied us into the West, and it is in this great West that we found two critics to give their opinions on a plate of skinned mobile phones (that generally are mistaken for our adventurous cookies).
(Yes, children, that is what happens when you take a knife to your cell phone and cruelly skin it alive. For a more colorful and bloody look, try skinning your iPod.)
Being now in the West, deep into the West, the rest of our Franken-cookies ran into the wild jungles of stove-tops and trash cans; but some lay in the quiet prairies to stalk innocent creatures. Whilst sitting on comfy couches and watching the telly in the West, we caught a documentary on the trouble overseas in East-Land. I remember the boot that got away from the attack... but there was actual footage on the fate of one dog that crossed this Franken-cookie's path...
And her dying words were, "WORF!"
R.I.P. Frau Winifred (b.1806 - d.14AD)
Final verdict: Don't add chopped olives and water chestnuts to chocolate chip cookies.
Official Cellphone Message Transcript of a third party review of the cookies, left on Mathilda's phone:
"Ugh um—I, I changed my mind. These cookies are without a doubt the most repulsive thing I've ever, um, had in my life and... I've had some hardcore crap, Mathilda. Um, really? No. I got a-frikin'-huge chunk of olive and um... yeah it was disgusting. Anyway, I'm giving one to my parents and my youth leader. Tell Lauren that you two make the most disgusting stuff I've ever eaten. Yeah. Bye."
-Tara Smith
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