Final Fantasy IV
Brandon g
Final Fantasy IV, originally released in the US as Final Fantasy II, was the first Final Fantasy game of the 16-bit era (on the Super Nintendo/Super Famicon). 
The graphics, while not specacular, still kicked the crap out of the older games. And... Well, okay, I'll admit: at the time, I thought they were spectacular. I was a middle school Final Fantasy nerd. But really, they sucked. Even by 16-bit standards, they sucked. But it was a big step for the Final Fantasy series.
But would the Final Fantasy series survive the broader horizons and expanded palette sets? Would all the new bells and whistles destroy the charm of the old games? The answer is a resounding No!—Final Fantasy IV was indeed just as illogical as the original Final Fantasy! In fact, the expanded capabilities of the Super Nintendo helped to further define Final Fantasy logic—we now know that all of the main characters are always related to each other in some way, unbeknownst to any of them at the outset of their adventure, and that the guy we originally think is the villain is never the real villain. After playing later Final Fantasy games, this one makes so much sense that it's scary.
Engrish Lessons
Final Fantasy IV features one of the worst translations seen in the Final Fantasy series. Even though this sub-par translation is responsible for one of the best insults of all time, it's also responsible for one of the worst battle cries of all time. Phrases like "The defence on the castle must be tighten immediately," and "GRRRR-BAAH!" just ruin serious moments.
Even the characters' names suffer from the translation. There's a summoner in Final Fantasy IV named Rydia. Every boy who has ever played Final Fantasy IV has had a crush on Rydia. Part of her allure may be her unusual, exotic name—I can't think of too many other people who are named Rydia. 
At least, we thought that her name was Rydia. It took the Final Fantasy community a while to remember that there's not a lot of distinction in Japanese between Ls and Rs—in fact, they're often switched. So Rydia's real name is probably Lydia. Not so fantasy-esque anymore. She's got a great scream, though.
Violence is Not the Answer
Peace is a major theme in Final Fantasy IV—in fact, there's one boss that can only be beaten by pacifism. But for a game about peace, there sure is a lot of violence brought about by the main characters. I mean, I don't want to pretend that a game that centered around sitting down and talking through your feelings would be fun in the least—but for goodness' sake, let's just admit that we really want to kill something!
In the course of the epic adventure, you run across a prince who has just lost his love and his kingdom in a tragic air raid. So how do you console him? By beating him up. After a thorough thrashing, the prince—a bard—joins you, and uses his music to hurt people. Every animal you run across is beaten without question. When you bump into old friends, you usually beat them. That's just the way things work.
In the dwarf castle, you find some ragged little stuffed dolls in a back alley. You can probably figure out the rest.
Final Fantasy Logic Score: 10
Perfect score, hands down. Take a look at the main Final Fantasy logic page and you'll find a perfect description of this game. The family tree/relationships chart exemplifies the part about mystical powers being entrusted to people who haven't a clue, and the only female characters in the game are pitifully weak with insanely powerful magic skills. (Also, they're not wearing any pants.)
