Megaman 2: His First Sequel
Brandon g
What's this? Wily's at it again? This comeback was a huge shock for the gaming world, unlike the next seven times he would come back. This time, he had constructed his own robots, pulling inspiration from kitchen utensils and the original game's robots.
Metalman
Metalman began his life as a glorified can-opener in the Wily home. Wily often got lonely and depressed while waiting for his cans to open, so he created a can-opener that could talk to him, one that he could really open up to and share his evil thoughts with. However, soon, Metalman was converted into an engine of destruction just like all of his other kitchen appliance friends.
Metalman follows the trend of having a name that really doesn't make a lot of sense. Because, technically, aren't all the robots made of metal? Well, except for Woodman. Calling a robot Metalman is kind of like calling your dog Dog. Everyone knows it's a dog. You don't need to call it Dog. That's just silly.
Airman
Airman works like a cross between a ceiling fan and a garbage disposal. Despite having only one arm, Airman manages to throw all kinds of things at you. The blender on his hand gives him additional mixing power, and he uses that to throw some type of smoothee at you as you battle him. Airman is all about throwing things. He has birds fly by and throw eggs at you. He has little robot things throw boomerangs at you. If you unlock the Super-Ultra difficulty, he'll try to throw a dog at you. And if you think you're safe after that, Megaman, watch out for that toaster! Coincidentally, if you like toasters, you'll really like this site.
Bubbleman
Bubbleman blows bubbles. But mostly, he just blows. Bubbleman has to stay underwater all the time. It's gotta suck whenever there's a mandatory robot master meeting at Wily's base. "Oh wait, we've gotta fill a tub up with water for Bubbleman." You college kids know this one: you wake up late, and you need to take a shower, but someone's in there and won't get out for anything.
you: Hey, is someone in this shower?
Bubbleman: Blub blub blub blub!
you: I really need to take a shower. I have an 8:00 class.
Bubbleman: Blub blub blub!
Guy in the other stall: Don't bother, that's just Bubbleman. He lives there.
Even in the water, he's not much of a robot. He blows bubbles and swims around a bit, very slowly. Now, I know that water can slow you down a bit, but I've seen some fish on the Discovery Channel do some pretty amazing things, and remember that Bubbleman was made to be in the water! The only thing he has, other than a gun that blows bubbles, is fins on his feet. That's the only advantage he has over Megaman in the water, and believe me, it doesn't seem to help much.
Quickman
Quickman appears to be the only robot in Megaman 2 capable of smiling. In fact, even that boomerang on his head looks like it's smiling. Quickman's special power is smiling. He's always quick with a joke or a word of encouragement. He also throws boomerangs, but that's not his real power; his name isn't Aborigineeman, after all.
Seriously, Quickman may sound like a lame robot, but he's among the toughest robots. And on top of that, he has freakin' huge lasers shooting all over his layer that can kill you in one hit. He puts so much power into those lasers that he has to throw boomerangs instead of shooting his own lasers. But all those are still nothing compared to the zingers he threw out while on the Conan O'Brian show.
Crashman
Information on Crashman's origin was hard to track down, but through satelite imaging and many late-night calls to the Psychic Connection, I was able to pin this one down. Wily was notorious for crashing parties. He was never invited, because nobody liked him. People would often barricade the door and wield shotguns when they saw him coming. To aid him in going to parties, Wily built Crashman, the ultimate party machine. He could dance. He could karaoke. And, if things got out of hand, he could throw bombs.
Crashman soon began throwing his own parties. He got Elecman to DJ for him and Gemini Man to hang from the ceiling and pretend to be a mirror globe. Robots from all over the world started to attend these parties, and they were being turned away in droves. Soon, Crashman constructed a large tower, so that only the coolest robots could attend. If you look really closely, you can occasionally see Crashman busting a move as you battle him in his disco tower.
Flashman
I know what you're thinking, and frankly, it's sick. Flashman is nothing like that. Flashman's power is creating a bright flash of light that freezes his opponents, creating a kind of deer-in-the-headlights effect. When I first found that out, I almost wrote a letter to Dr. Wily saying, "Dr. Wily, Megaman is not a deer," until I found out that it actually worked on Megaman. Maybe he's not as mega as we thought.
Flashman's whole layer is made of ice. I really have no idea what that means, but I'll keep you posted on what I find out.
Heatman
Wily constructed Heatman after leaving his Poptarts in the toaster too long and watching them go up in flames. The thought of a giant toaster at his command was just too tempting for him to resist. "Heatman, go toast those bagels!" he would be able to say at long last, "Heatman, cook those poptarts until they're golden brown, just the way I like them! Uwa ha ha!!"
The best part is that Heatman even looks like a toaster. I mean, that's so much cooler than, say, Bubbleman, who does not look like a bubble, or Metalman, who looks nothing like a can opener. Hey, I wonder if that green button on the front is the eject button. I think I'll go find out...
Woodman
Woodman is... a tree! Not surprisingly, his superpower is... throwing leaves! If not for Top Man, Woodman would be the worst robot idea ever. In ninth grade, my nickname was "The Lawn-Cutting Machine," but I didn't think that was any sort of special talent. The idea of making a tree with the powers of a leaf blower may sound appealing at first, like the idea of making a dog with the powers of a pooper-scooper, but creating this robotic tree to destroy Megaman, who all too recently took out a robot based on Mr. T, doesn't sound like a good idea to me.
When you really think about it, you've got to feel sorry for Woodman. Woodman was the different robot, the one that all the other robots made fun of in grade school. Young robots would make him stand by a wall and pretend to be a bulletin board. On a camping trip once, Gutsman tried to carve a canoe out of him. And why? Just because he looked a little different. Well, just because Woodman is a little different on the—oh my gosh, look at that twig coming out of his ear! Ha! That's funny!
